Urinating on the touchline

A Euro 2024 primer, Qataris planning to win Man United bid, Arsenal to play MLS All Stars this summer, Man City think they’ve got Bellingham in the bag, players with the most minutes in Europe so far this season, Boehly’s gobbling up the soccer world, and a player gets sent off for urinating on the touchline.

Conte lashing out, looking for an out?

Slow day today for fixtures. Conte lashes out, Ten Hag getting new deal, Barca’s situation worsens, Sheffield United’s in trouble too, Haaland’s historic tear, Chelsea wants to share, Zlatan makes history, and Grealish went a bit to far.

Haaland to Real Madrid?

Brazil wants to host the next Women’s World Cup, Spurs players won’t miss Conte, FIFA pushing for more stoppage time, Frankfurt fans banned from Champions League match against Napoli, Harry Kane speaks the truth, it’s time to rip up the PSG project, and Real Madrid are looking to swoop in and snag Haaland this summer.

Prison FC keen to buy Kyle Walker

Bayern Munich and Milan both advance into the Champions League quarters, CBS is expanding is coverage of the beautiful game, MLS pushing for concussions subs, and Kyle Walker has entered talks with Prison FC.

Ivorian player dies after collapsing on pitch

PSG faces Bayern in a Champions League match that could be the last for the big 3, another Barca scandal, Zidane could return, Ted Lasso getting the sack, could Luka Modric join Ronaldo, Pep wants Leao now, inside Benfica’s talent factory, 8 game ban for head butting a ref, and an Ivorian player dies on the pitch.

Neymar's out for season, his last 'dive' was for real

Neymar done for the season, Champions League talking points, Musiala’s rise, Xavi looks to raid Man City, Grealish signs lucrative boot deal, every major Premier League club wants Napoli’s Osimhen, and an ex-Southhampton player turned down Chelsea and Spurs to do porn.

Did Pep Guardiola name his successor?

Liverpool thrashes Man United, Champions League round of 16 continues, Kompany succeeding Guardiola, MLS wants to follow in F1’s footsteps, Conte leaving Spurs, Mbappe breaks a PSG record, the latest transfer rumors, and why celery is banned at Stamford Bridge.

NBA's Antetokounmpo Wants to Play Soccer Too

Antetokounmpo the latest athlete/celeb to invest in a team, Messi’s family store gets attacked, Barcelona bracing for another tough summer in the transfer market, FIFA set to make decision on 2026 World Cup format soon, Napoli likely to see team raided this summer, and Tottenham signs a deal with F1 in hopes that maybe branching into another sport will lead to trophies for them.

Neville reveals 7 reasons Arsenal will not win Premier League

Today is 2023’s first installment of El Clasico, Barcelona suffer another injury blow, Juventus launch their appeal, Nagelsmann apparently safe at Bayern, Gary Neville likes City to be champions, Newcastle’s tactical blueprint, the Premier League investigating racism, Liverpool seeking investment, and Inter’s getting a new stadium sans Milan.

The Needy, Greedy Glazers